How does a 37 year old office worker (rather than say 22 year old star athlete) continually get told by SMV-prime young women that he’s the best sex they ever had?…my thoughts on why I repeatedly have this effect on girls.
- Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique - Her estimation is overwhelmingly determined by how high value she thinks you are… Improve your value, project it well, and hold the frame. In short, extend your Game to the bedroom.
- Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
- Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
- Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch
- 1. They don’t reach orgasm from intercourse or have never reached orgasm at all. Often these women do not know their bodies well enough to know how to reach orgasm (ahem, masturbation, it’s not just for men).
- 2. It hurts (this is often due to the sheer misfortune that their bodies were designed in ways that make sex painful in many positions if not all.)
- 3. They haven’t been with a man who has proper technique (sorry guys, sex is the same as any skill, it requires effort).
- 4. They are uptight. They are unable to relax enough during the act. This may be due inexperience, body issues, any of a variety of reasons.
- 5. Grew up with values that demonized sex creating guilt bout doin’ it.
- 6. Lack of trust. Experiencing orgasm with a man does cause a release of “bonding” hormones which by default can make one vulnerable, relinquish some “power”…
- 7. Have not felt a strong enough attraction partner. 3rd Millennium Men describes the importance of gaining female attraction. The expression “The Brain Is Women’s Largest Erogenous Zone” is no joke and has scientific evidence to back it up.
My sex hang ups come when I start feeling like he is tippy toeing around me and constantly looking to me to make a decision on things…
But all the little “beta” actions wear me out and leave me feeling like I never get to lean on him, that he isn’t there for me if I have a bad day or fall apart. By “beta” I mean things like going back and forth 15 times as we text about whether he wants to do a certain activity with the kids the next day, bc he doesn’t want to just come out and say, “I don’t want to do that.” Or hearing me vent about a relative or one of the kids’ behavior and not stopping me when I let my mouth run too far, because he doesn’t want to upset me more. Argh!
I know a cranky wife can be intimidating, guys, but most girls really appreciate the strength and confidence you show when you are not fazed by her emotions.
She knows she rides a roller coaster,and even if she can’t express it, having a husband who will insist on having a talk when one is needed and who will keep that convo on topic with an aggressive concern for the marriage will encourage and bless her and very likely turn things around after a time!
I think I finally communicated this to my honey yesterday. I explained that feeling in charge when he was around, feeling like EVERYONE in this house looked to me to call the shots, watching him hesitate and come off as soooo sweet and passive, was a HUGE turn off for me.
…I’m talking about wanting my husband to say, “I am going to rip your clothes off when I get home. Put the kids in front of a long movie.” and then doing it, despite my groaning, and convincing me I really did want him to. )) I’m talking about him asking what my schedule was for the day, and then telling me that I was going to take child X with me on those errands while he took W, Y, and Z with him, and he would bring home dinner so don’t cook. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! To be able to lean on him, to see him take an aggressive interest in how the house works and what is going on, to feel like he desires me so much he will not take no for an answer and kisses me out of my stress…
…it’s the stuff our fantasies are made of, guys! Maybe not every woman, but every married girl I know gets starry eyed as they tell stories of their husband leading in such an in-tune and family-focused way, esp if it involves romance and sex.
…guys, lead whether she bats her eyes at you at first or not!… Too much beta-helpfulness can backfire, bc you are presenting as a wimp weaker than she is, and who wants a leading man like that? She wants to feel like your leading lady, not your mother.