I’ve previously asked if it’s easier to fall in love with a slut. Sexual intimacy can bring about incredibly strong bonds between people, even when you’re not expecting or wanting it to. It results in being conducive to love, though in and of itself is not sufficient to form love. Furthermore, it’s possible to fall in love without being sexually intimate, which is what I recommend. That way you actually get to know the other person before things become clouded by sex. Yes, it’s a difficult path to navigate in between there and the friends zone, but it’s completely possible.
Now that’s something that occurs between the two of you. Today, I’m interested in examining the attributes of the woman that appeals to me.
I’ve been in full-blown love twice before and started to fall in love one other time. I have been thinking about the similarities between these women and the difference between other women who were perfect on paper but I just couldn’t fall in love with. Then I came across this quote from Ayn Rand, which hit home:
A man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions…. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer–because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement.
I completely agree with this. All three girls I loved were utterly amazing. They all had a total zest for life. They were all highly motivated, passionate about what they loved, and lived life to the full. I never had a boring moment with them. Rather, every moment with them was exhilarating.
This is where I disagree with a lot of Manosphere commentators, who claim that many self-developmental things women undertake don’t actually increase their attractiveness. This includes Deti, who I have huge respect for. Deti commented on an earlier post:
Things which women believe increases their attractiveness but don’t:
1. her salary.
2. her educational level.
3. her job title or job duties.
4. the places she’s traveled.
5. her intelligence or IQ.
6. her sarcasm or quick-wittedness. What women see as confidence or assertiveness is in fact bitchiness.
7. her conversational abilities. Hlds his interest but isn’t attractive.
8. the things she owns, her house/apartment, or the car she drives.
9. her fabulous lifestyle, social life or number of friends.
I agree that 1, 6 and 8 don’t make a difference. However, when I’m with a girl who I can engage with in fascinating conversations, who is living life to the full, who has plans for the future, who has travelled, studied and worked, I find that incredibly attractive. All three of the women I fell in love with had those things in common. (3 and 9 don’t matter so much in and of themselves, but they reflect the direction the girl is going).
It’s essential for a woman to be able to engage on numerous levels with me to fall in love with them. We don’t have to agree on lots of things, but I need to like who they are, which is hugely influenced by what they’re doing with their life.