Some of the feedback to my post ‘5 Steps to Beat Getting Friend-Zoned‘ was about how difficult it is to get out of the Friends-Zone. It’s almost always the case, and that’s why I advocate so strongly to act like a man and make a move so that you never get put there in the first place. The issue of how this can continue to hold you back is explored below. A while ago I came across the post Everything Has Its Season by TGR White and was very impressed. Excerpts of his post are below in italics:
Every man has one who got away. For me it was the last girl I had an infatuation with, back in my omega days. She was a mess when I met her. Absolutely beautiful and broken. A monument of abusive relationships, substance addiction, and desperation.The white knight in me wanted to save her. It nearly destroyed me. She was an emotional vampire and she fed off me whilst she fucked others. I ended up angry and bitter. That anger became a catalyst of self improvement. In a way I owe her, for if I had not met her I might never have found the dedication to turn my life around; to get revenge on her.
Revenge never came. What came instead was other girls. Younger, hotter girls. A long time later I met the one who got away. I was different. She was the same. I had the game, the charisma, to conquer her. I was still a beta at heart and passed up a sure thing. It haunts me still; unfinished business. It drove Dante to create a masterpiece of literature
Those tortured memories haunt me and drive me. There is a saying that behind every great man is a woman but never the woman he married.
I resonated with this post. Back in the day, I was a beta. It took me going away, training, learning, understanding and growing, to reform my natural relationships with women. This resulted in a path to incredible success. I enjoyed the pleasures of 9s and 10s, and more insane experiences than most men could ever dream.
However, coming back home to girls I had previously liked who were 7s was still difficult. In some cases they were still impenetrable due to their perceptions of me. While I had changed and grown enormously, their perceptions of me hadn’t.
She is not the same person either; her youth is going, her beauty would not be what it was in the time I knew her. The girl who haunts my memories, whose body I long to touch, lips I long to kiss, is a figment of the past; she is dead and cannot ever be found.
This is why I believe that attempting to improve yourself is much easier in a new location; Once people have pigeonholed you its difficult to change that perception.
I completely agree with this. If you find yourself stagnant, unable to change or grow due to how people perceive you, then it’s time for a change. The single best way to do this is to move. This will help you to become a better man. While you need to keep key, loyal and faithful friends and family from your life as an anchor, you need to associate with more ambitious, motivated people who are operating at a higher level than the people who have been holding you back.
I did actually manage to change the perception of the woman above by prolonged absence from her life coupled with learning game, packing on muscle and sleeping with other women. When I ran into her by accident she said to me “You seem taller”. Back at her place she threw herself at me. That was the first time I ever had a girl give me the fuck me eyes.
TGR White acknowledges he then screwed up by not being alpha enough. It’s extremely difficult to change this perception. For another story, read the Maverick Traveller’s saga of a girl who he didn’t get physical with fast enough, and then reacted badly once they did get physical at a later date.
The solution? Never get Let’s Just Be Friends in the first place. Move on. Find better, hotter girls, and forget about the ones in your past. They’re not that great. Seriously.