Now that we’ve been warmed up by the seminal University of Man post ‘Why betas marry leftovers‘, let’s examine how to beat the dreaded Friends Zone.
Women saying ‘Let’s Just Be Friends’ (LJBF) or ‘Friend-Zoning’ men is a curse that plagues many good, decent men.
Rollo Tomassi states: The LJBF escape is perhaps the single most useful convention ever conceived by women. The LJBF rejection has classically ensured that a woman can reject a man yet still maintain his previous attention. It also puts the responsibility for the rejection back on his shoulders since, should he decline the ‘offer of friendship’, he is then responsible for entertaining this friendship.
However, when it comes down to it, it’s the man’s fault for getting put there. He didn’t stimulate the attraction mechanisms inside a woman to make her see him as a mate. Remember. Attraction Isn’t A Choice. If she doesn’t feel attraction, there’s nothing you can do about it. If she does feel attraction, there’s nothing she can do about it.
It’s the prerogative of the man to make sure he NEVER gets put there in the first place. It’s appalling when men become feminised to the extent that they are a substitute girlfriend, a handbag and a beta groupie, all rolled into one. Why would you spend all that time and focus on a girl who he wants to be your lover, but she never reciprocates?
Rollo continues: The LJBF rejection also serves as an ego preservation for her in that having offered the false olive branch of ‘friendship’ to him in her rejection she also can sleep that night knowing that she (and any of her peers) won’t think any less of herself. After all, she offered to be friends, right? She is excused from any feelings of personal guilt or any responsibilities for his feelings if she still wants to remain amiable with him.
Now getting LJBF’d is a sticking point for many brilliant guys I know. When I was a teenager, it was one for me too. To beat this, it’s firstly important to ensure you are an alpha and a attractive man. Then, follow these 5 specific points to ensure you beat Let’s Just Be Friends and never end up in that tragic state ever again.
1) You MUST physically escalate early.
This is the single most important step. If you don’t, and later try to, it will feel strange, because you’ve set that non-touching paradigm and are now trying to break it.
Think about it this way. Imagine you have a work associate, and everytime you greet them, you shake their hand. That’s happened 50 times. Then one day, like every other, they come in for a big hug. Whoa. How weird would that be? That’s not what you’re used to. The same applies in reverse.
If you know someone and hug/kiss them on the cheek everytime you greet, and then one day you expect to and they just don’t, how weird is that? Again, it’s the paradigm that’ been set in your relationship. Get that right early on.
Light touching will naturally progress to more prolonged touching. Touching won’t progress at all if zero contact has been established as the expected benchmark. Here’s some scientific proof Science Kino Escalation
Roosh provides a brilliant story of a very good looking Scandinavian guy who didn’t escalate and was relegated to the dreaded Friends Zone. The whole story is worth reading, though the above link is at the mid-way point.
Remember, you have a DUTY as a man to escalate.
When is exactly the right time to do this? Krauser’s Date Model provides some brilliant insight. He says mid-date ON THE DAY 2. Any later than mid-date and you’re running the friend-zone gauntlet. Read this section ten times in a row if you’re going on dates and continually getting Friend-Zoned. It’s gold.
Remember it’s better to escalate too early, than too late. Mid-point on one day 2 last year, the tension was there and I went in for the kiss. She said ‘no’, because she wanted it to be somewhere special, rather than my car. Still, my intentions were entirely clear after that and there was never a risk of getting relegated to LJBF. When I’d established more comfort, she then came and physically escalated on me. The sexual interest frame had already been set.
Let’s Just Be Friends.
2) Don’t listen to her problems when you first meet and don’t give help or give advice.
Betas will sit there and listen to all of a girls problems and issues, just to spend time with her. Alphas don’t tolerate this. Kezia Noble once gave me some great advice on how to respond to this. Say something along the lines of “I appreciate this is really important to you, but it’s something you need to talk about with your friends”.
Watch the hamster spin out of control, as she has to try and adjust to your reality.
If she talks about her ex-boyfriend, again don’t give advice. Recognise that you are in danger of getting placed in the zone, and up the alpha to combat this terrible prospect.
Beltway speak about this here: Act like a man…if a woman wants a heart to heart she has female friends…if a woman wants someone to be overly emotional she has female friends…if a woman finds a man who is always indecisive, insecure, whiny and annoying well your ass is gonna get friend zoned because we associate you with our female friends.
Let’s Just Be Friends.
3) Don’t do girls favours.
For some reason, whenever you do a girl a favour, she automatically puts you straight into a beta friend zone. There’s a strange psychological quirk that results in when you do people favours, YOU end up liking THAT person more. Not the other way round. Hence why betas go on dates and spend lots of money on girls, and HE likes HER more, but she feels nothing for him.
I specifically eliminated doing girls favours a few years ago. Trying to supplicate her or do her favours is a sure-fire way to put yourself in the beta category. It triggers a subconscious instinct in her that you have to try and do things to impress her, rather than simply ‘being’ a man.
Whenever one of the girls I’m hooking up with posts something on her Facebook about needing something, a dozen betas rush to her aid. These are the types of guys who have never fucked her, and never will. Yet they try and do her favours to make her like them. That extends to posting Youtube videos on her wall to try and win her attention and create a connection. Hahaha.
. Let’s Just Be Friends.
4) Don’t supplicate to women.
Remember, SHE has to fit inside YOUR reality. Don’t try and change your life to fit hers. You are the prize. You are the most interesting person and catch she has met. Keep developing yourself. Don’t bring yourself down or suck up just to be with her, because that’s a sure-fire way to ensure she’ll never want you. Keep being the most interesting person she has ever met. If she doesn’t respect that, move on.
5) Don’t tolerate her bad behaviour.
Beat shit tests. Simple.
Remember, never get friend-zoned in the first place. Getting out of it is way harder. If you do, follow these steps.
If you’ve lost, realise that you need to recalibrate next time, but don’t hang around. I refuse to have women in my life who I’m attracted to, but they’re not interested in me like that. It’s been quite a while since anyone has fallen into that category, because I’ve increased my attractiveness, the way I interact with women, and the frame I set.