When Speaking with a Girl... DO NOT INTERVIEW HER

A casual hookup and I were discussing the conversations men and women have. She was complaining about how guys are so clueless and constantly ask interview questions. When they meet, it will go along the lines of:

M: Hi.
F: Hi.
M: Where are you from?
F: Place X.
M: Oh cool. I have a friend from there.
F: Cool.
M: So, what do you do?
F: I’m a nurse.
M: Oh cool my sister’s a nurse.

How inane and boring.

What should you do instead? Weave conversations tangentially together. Use it to connect on deeper levels. Find out WHY she does the things she does. Find out her motivations.

1. Alex Fanshel is a master conversationalist. Read his seminal post on conversations with women, and being far more interesting.

2. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. Watch this video to see how freaking annoying it is. Every time you ask a question it reaffirms that you’re a stranger.

3. Heartiste has a great post about conversational momentum:

Bad Flirting

YOU: Topic A

HER: HAHA!, slight twist on Topic A

YOU: Resurgent Topic A

HER: ha…, slipping interest in Topic A

YOU: Topic A again, nervously, this time with feeling

HER: cya…

Revisiting topics that initially garnered a positive response from a girl is try-hard approval seeking. It is the clarion call of the beta who can’t believe his luck that he said something interesting to a girl, and now feels the overarching need to suck the life out of it in endless sequels. Don’t be that beta. You lead a woman in talk as you would in dance, your nimble tongue the strong hand that gently but firmly guides her into new adventures.

Maxim #97: Do not tempt a woman’s withdrawal with conversational topic overkill. You made a funny, now surprise her with something new.

4. A Date Lab Story:

Priska: He asked me something like, “So, tell me about yourself,” and I was like, Um, that is not how a conversation is going to progress. But anyway, I said, “Well, you know, there’s a lot since we don’t know anything other than each other’s first names. …”

Kerry: [It was] pretty much the date interview: Where are you from, what do you do, where do you work? We talked about her family a lot, her friends as well. She’s traveled to a few African countries, and we talked about that [and] my travels to Europe.

Priska: We’re both from the Silver Spring area, so we went into that conversation. I think I’m pretty good with not being awkward. I had a lot of questions in my back pocket in the beginning, but it definitely wasn’t forced, and as the evening went on, there was not awkward silence.

Kerry: You get to that point where it’s not necessarily awkward or anything, but you run out of interview questions, so you’re trying to think of something to say. So it did get to that point, but it was fine. We ordered entrees about an hour or so down the line.

3MM: Garrrh. Stop interviewing girls. They’ve heard it all a million times before. Try this technique the next time you’re having a conversation with someone to see the dynamics completely change. It’s simple… ready for it?

Don’t ask questions.

That’s it.  When someone says something to you, reply with a statement, weave it tangentially to something else they were saying. Look at them expectantly, like you’re waiting for them to reply. If they have any conversational ability, they will.

Instead of asking a question, say something along the lines of “tell me about the most amazing experience you had travelling in X. Really describe it to me”. Girls love this type of thing. As Heartiste says in the 16 Commandments of Poon:

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

Now what are some topics you can talk about? Start with travel, hobbies and career. Talk about WHY you’re passionate about those things. You’ll be able to connect on those levels. It helps if you’ve travelled and generally lived an interesting life. For example, I’m impressed with the diversity of experience that the new Manosphere blogger 22to28 has. Look forward to hearing how you went!

The 3MM Team offers in-depth training where we teach you advanced conversation techniques and how to connect with women on numerous levels. You don’t need training? Cool. In the meantime, keep doing this:

Update: Heartiste has a great post propounding the exact same advice, saying to shun the stale 7 questions. Read further:

Here’s a little trick for beginners to improve their rapport skills with women: don’t ask them questions. Specifically, don’t ask them the following anticipated questions:

What’s your name?
What do you do?
Where do you live?
Where are you from?
What school did you go to?
Where do you work?
How do you like it here?

Willing yourself to shun the Stale Seven is more than a game tactic to attract women; it’s on-the-go practice for becoming a better conversationalist, a skill that can apply to any situation involving a second human being. When you force a pattern interrupt on yourself, you sharpen your focus and hone your mind to think differently. To think more seductively.